Month: March 2021

On the 3^rd of March this year, a 33 year old woman, name Sarah Everard disappeared while walking home in Brixton Hill, London from a friend’s home. She was later found dead in a woodland area near Ashford, Kent a week later (BBC News, 2021). Her disappearance and death sparked the discussion and a movement around women’s safety. I personally do not like the way the topic has been situated around ‘women’s safety’ and I believe it should be more focused on the people who commit the violence. It isn’t a problem with women, it is a problem with men (and obviously some women) who commit the horrendous and violent crimes against woman. I have seen some ways of repositioning the topic in this way, however overnight after the conversation began after Everards death, the trending hashtag was #NotallMen. Men have positioned themselves in this way that it is not their problem, due to the fact they are not a man raping or murdering woman. However, as a society, woman experience sexist and misogynistic on a regular basis. I don’t know how many times I have been catcalled. I have had my drink spiked in a bar. I have overheard sexist jokes being made, and other men not backing woman up. Heard comments about his friend of not being capable of being a rapist, even after being accused because he is a good guy. Guys, ranking girls out of 10 based on their looks. Not taking no for answer when a woman is not interested in them, and then take it as a challenge to pursue. I worked in a restaurant, as a chef for years, an inherently male environment, and on a daily basis experienced some sort of sexism or harassment. This culture of how men, and not all men, view and treat woman and placing the blame on others is what leads to the rape culture we now have. Most woman are raped by someone close to them, the statistics show that stranger rape is very low (The Unspeakable Crime: Rape, 2013). This is also not helped by the victim blaming in the media of rape victims, are the media is centred primarily around protecting men instead of woman. Here an entire cultural shift is needed. After Sarah Everards death, on social media their was a backlash and comments about how she made the wrong decisions for walking home at night alone, and this is common from crime committed against women. The culture of victim blaming is high. When in rape cases in court, the defence have held up underwear saying she must of wanted it as she wore sexy underwear. Similarly woman getting harassed and being told well its because what you were wearing. It put the blame on women and not on men.

I saw a very good clip from BBC News with a man speaking about this, and changing the problem from being about women needing to protect themselves to men stopping be violent towards woman. And how it is not all men, however most violent crimes in general and not just towards woman are committed by men, and 97% of women in a recent survey declared they had been sexually harassed and for women this wasn’t a surprising statistic, but from men their was a backlash, some even accusing women of lying of overexaggerating. But also then turning the issue back on themselves, say ‘well men get abused too’ or ‘where are the statistics on women abuse men, I bet it is equal’ or ‘we get abused and harassed the same about but we don’t moan about it.’ And these articles are not declaring that men are not abused or raped, however stating the statistics for woman how it is a large issue for woman. There is a lack of compassion there and a pattern of denial.

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I think this has made my question and think about going down the path of PTSD from sexual assault, domestic abuse and rape, as with the current climate it could give an interesting narrative which others may have not thought of about the lasting mental consequences of certain crimes.

Dray, K (2021) ‘Jameela Jamil just underlined the big problem with that “not all men” argument’ Stylist 11 March Available at: https://www.stylist.co.uk/entertainment/celebrity/jameela-jamil-not-all-men-debate/494934 (Accessed: 30 March 2021)

Bindel, J (2021) ‘Julie Bindel: Women shouldn’t have to be always vigilant. Male violence is for me to fix’ Evening Standard 11 March Available at: https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/julie-bindel-women-vigilant-male-violence-men-fix-b923532.html (Accessed: 30 March 2021)

Rainbow, S (2021) ‘‘Men aren’t even a part of it’: Why we need to change the way we talk about gendered violence’ Evening Standard 12 March Available at: https://www.standard.co.uk/insider/sarah-everard-sexual-harassment-violence-women-gender-language-statistics-b923865.html (Accessed: 30 March 2021)

Beaten by My Boyfriend (2015) BBC Three, 25 March, 21:00 Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2XzvBXoNF4 (Accessed: 14 November 2020)

The Unspeakable Crime: Rape (2013) BBC One, 4 June, 22:35 Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQmrqN7ZhzA&t=6s (Accessed: 14 November 2020)

BBC News (2021) Sarah Everard death: Inquest opened and adjourned 18 March Available at: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-56442376#:~:text=The%2033%2Dyear%2Dold%20vanished,was%20released%20for%20a%20funeral. (Accessed: 30 March 2021)

Triggers can be anything, but they are something which makes you relive your traumatic experience. For some peoples they can be specific smells or sounds which occurred during the event. However other situations like if your trauma occurred in a small room you might then avoid them in the future as that could be triggering. But also, say if you were in a car crash, going back into a car may trigger that memory and make you relive it therefore being in a car can become very distressing.

As triggers can be anything, I am going to discuss my personal triggers, and how they affect and/or affected my life.

After my initial rape in December 2017, I avoided my bed, because being on it, in it etc. at first just made me uncomfortable and unsafe, because in the first month I could piece my memories together to actually realise what happened to me. I knew something was wrong due to the feelings towards my bed. Once I realised and started to process my experience, every time I laid in that bed I relived my experience. I no longer suffer from this trigger due to the fact I moved away as soon as could. But because of this, I got very little sleep, which was incredibly difficult because of my work schedule of being a chef.

The main trigger I still have today, which has mainly come from my experience with domestic and ongoing sexual abuse, is unsolicited touch. If someone I don’t know, or especially if I don’t trust touches me, even if it isn’t meant to be harmful, I jump away from the touch and I relieve the experience of different times of unsolicited touch, especially in an unwanted sexual way from my abusive relationship. But also if anyone touches me around the neck I get triggered very easily. But this also continues to when I am upset, nearly anyone’s touch can trigger me because my emotional state is already in the same condition as it was in those time. I have been triggered from people at work and even my brother.

Similarly tv shows, not necessarily watching them, but the noise they produce, specifically family guy, as it was the tv show my abusive ex put on every night to go to sleep and it was on many times when traumatic experiences occurred.

There will probably be others, when I hear the name Adam, sometimes I experience the feeling of like maybe he is around, but that normally quickly dissipates. I had to get rid of any connection of him and my previous ex, Sjur, off all social media because any mention, photograph I found very triggering. Sometimes people something that reminds me of them, and my experience and that can be triggering. I still get triggered by several things and they come out of the blue at random times. I have found in general the discussion going on after Sarah Everard’s death being quite triggering and I can only digest it in small chunks. Sometimes I go months without being triggered and then one little thing throws me back into that time. Not that long ago, I was at work, and a guy walk past, and I immediately thought it was Adam, I quickly calmed my self down, but it was like I had the entire 6 months flash before my eyes, and those deep emotions of fear brought up, that I wanted to run and hide. Due to my naturally logical self, I was able to calm myself down, because even though they looked similar it probably wasn’t there, why would he be in the City of London, had too expensive shoes on. Those little details really helped grounded myself. But I also talked through the situation of what would have happened if it was him and if he spotted me and how I would deal with it. And realising no-matter what it would be okay. I was okay.

However, I dealt with a lot of nightmares when it feel happened, nearly every night, I would wake up, sweating and terrified and that was really hard to go through the day with those memories haunting me at night. I still have nightmares frequently, and I haven’t identified a trigger, however I have them around 2-3 times a month.

Nightmares for me are more in depth than triggered flashbacks. For me flashbacks are normally quite short, and normally are a feeling of intense emotion from a memory, with little snippets of visual memories. Where nightmares, I experience the whole ordeal again, and I feel even more trapped than before, like all my emotions are on overdrive, but also it brings the memory back really fresh, when it could feel like it was fading for a while. I think it is my minds way of stopping me from dissociating, and forgetting what happened, like it is telling me, remember this, it might save you one day. Which heavily relates to the research I did on how memories formulate during traumatic events.

When beginning to explore PTSD within the media and especially the representation within film and tv, my original conception and then from research it proved correct that most representation about PTSD was about war veterans. For instance when searching for the top 10 films about PTSD, in one list from Inspire Malibu (2018) 8 out of 10 of the films, the PTSD portrayed was from war veterans, and in the second list by Alo House (no date) 4 out of 8 films involved war induced PTSD, however this website is of a recovery centre for people with mental health conditions, so not surprising it is more inclusive. However, there seems to be a lack of representation of people who suffer with PTSD from other scenarios and traumatic events. For years, PTSD held the misconception that only war/combat veterans could suffer from the condition, and originally being called Shell Shock after WW2. However, this misconception is slowly being irradicated. However, even from my experience of talking to people about my own diagnosis of PTSD, they question me and ask me how, when I have never been in the army, or fought in a war. This is difficult for people who have experienced other extremely traumatic events, as it insinuates that they can’t have PTSD and less likely to get help, but especially within people who have experienced domestic abuse, and sexual violence, where there is commonly a feeling of blame and guilt, it increases those feelings because it is like people are saying it is not that bad, or they shouldn’t be feeling the way they do.

Marvel’s Jessica Jones is a TV show on Netflix which has tackled the subject of PTSD in Women who have experienced sexual assault and rape, and has been heavily praised for it’s handling of the topic. The character, who also had PTSD in the original comics, experiences PTSD after being mind controlled by the Villain of the series Killgrave (portrayed by David Tennant), and it is insinuated that she was raped by him. Even though this is extreme as it is a super-hero show it does mirror what it feels like to be in domestic and sexually abusive relationship. Throughout the show, we see her flashbacks and what triggers them, some are only a second and some are a lot longer. We see how some are clear and crisp, and others are more blurred. But also, how one can dissociate and see the event through a third person perspective. I re-watched the first 3 episodes, to gather primary research to see how I connected to these scenes, especially as I had not seen the series since before my traumatic experiences and also did secondary research on articles about the show, and how the media reacted to it. I will be going into detail more into the show and it’s representation including the visual techniques it uses in a deeper analysis in another post.

I found it fascinating in how this show had such a positive reaction from the press and media about its representation of sexual assault, rape and PTSD, as there is sort of a movement against showing these kind of events, especially explicit rape on tv shows and film as it can be triggering to survivors. Which I completely understand, and I believe this is due to most of the time it not being done right. For instance, in Game of Thrones (a TV show I haven’t watched), showed ‘over 50 rape scenes across what had then been just five seasons’ (Abraham, 2017). With this it was normally used as a method of creating ‘high drama’ plot devices, as something to ‘titillate’ (Abraham, 2017). They never showed the long lasting affect it had on the victim, and this leads to a risk ‘of normalizing gender-based violence without highlighting the long and lasting consequences it can have on survivors’ lives’ (Girls Inc., no date). Also it has become common in many shows and films without warning the viewer of what is to come to be able to make the informed choice on whether they wish to watch the show or not. I believe this is because they want to keep the audience in suspense and use it as a shock tactic. Which I believe is wrong. However there is many people calling for rape to be banned from being in film and tv, however in my opinion I think this could be very damaging, as the subject would become more stigmatised as it wouldn’t be a conversation that needs to happen and the consequences of rape and sexual assault wouldn’t been seen to the masses. However I believe it needs to be done right.

In Jessica Jones from what I remember and watched so far, the incident itself isn’t showed but instead discussed and insinuated and instead focuses on the consequences, and how one deals with the trauma. In the show Outlander, it shows many experiences of rape, some times explicit and others comment of how one deals with the experience or how society views rape and sexual assault. But it is never used as a shock tactic, and the affects of the trauma are seen through episodes and even series. It is another series which has been accused of using rape too often in it’s show even when it is just representing the books it is based on. Myself, who is a rape and domestic abuse survivor, I found some of these scenes emotional but they showed them with the respect they deserve. The show is a period drama and based in the 18^th century, and frequently is a commentary on what woman’s lives and experiences were in that time, and ignoring rape and sexual assault would have been ignoring a part of the history and experience of woman. But also they showed an experience of male rape, which I think is an important subject to discuss. I have a personal connection to male rape, as my brother was raped when he was in university after he was drugged. He found it hard to recover especially as it is an issue which is not commonly connected to men, and this scene in the show opened up the conversation and showed that you don’t need to put on a brave face and you ‘don’t need to be a man’ and it is difficult to deal with no-matter your gender. In a later series, a young woman gets raped while trying to find her family, when travelling alone. And the incident was not filmed explicitly but instead focuses on how, as it was in an inn/tavern the people who could even hear it happening, just ignored it, like it was so normalised and not their issue. I think this is a great mirror on what the situation is like today, especially with how the #NotallMen trended after Sarah Everards death and the comment of Women’s safety, and how it seemed like they were saying it is not their problem because it is not them, it’s not all men. But also, she became pregnant from the rape, and this brought up questions about how becoming pregnant from such a traumatic event can affect someone mentally but also abortion but as being a period drama not safely available but the discussions surrounding the risks but also benefits, a very honest and realistic conversation. The most recent in the show, which was in the last episode aired, showed how one can dissociate and go to a place in their head which is deemed safe to try and escape. However, with all of these occasions it was never just there for a shock tactic, it changed that person’s story line and the impact is felt further down the line, and how each character is working though their personal trauma to recover, but also how friends and family can support you, and having the discussions around it.

In the show also, they have depicted PTSD from a different trauma, which was where one of the main characters was hanged by a crime, they did not commit but was cut down in time, and saved. But the experience was extremely traumatic. The character, Roger, after his near-death experience, was refusing to talk, at first the rest of the cast believing from damage to his vocal cords, but this wasn’t the case but instead he was ‘reliving his would-be execution as if it were a silent movie playing over and over in his head’ (Reiher, 2020). This was an incredible way of demonstrating visually of how one experiences PTSD, and it was connected to the character. Even though this is a period drama, many of the characters are from the future, therefore that is why he relived his experience in silent movies as that was one of the things he did for happiness when he lived in the future. But it also raised the topic of PTSD, how it was (in the future, it gets complicated because of the time travelling aspect) Shell Shock, and they saw people coming back from the Vietnam war fighting with it. However, the show also showed how it does not only affect the person with it but also the surrounding people. His wife felt very isolated while trying to look after their young baby and felt like she lost her husband even though he was right there in front of her.

However, this topic of banning the showing of rape and sexual assault because of its triggering affects, makes me think of how we still have many war films, and they are triggering to veterans suffering with PTSD. But also, they are very dramatized and also used solely for entertainment purposes. I think there is a lot of questions there, and I am not sure what the right answer is. But I think war films are more acceptable, and the showing of some other traumas, one because of the societal context and they are not as stigmatised. But also, normally it is normally very clear was is a war film and what is not, therefore the viewer is given the choice easily without trigger warnings. But also, as mentioned a lot of the times rape and sexual assault is used as shock techniques and tactics, which I believe is wrong, and not right, but instead should be honestly show what life is like for a woman or a man recovering from these situations and traumas. I think this is also a problem because there isn’t many woman in high up jobs within the entertainment and film industry, and many shows which use these techniques do not have the personal experience or even gathered research on what it is like, and because of this feeling it doesn’t affect men, they use it without context. This needs to be changed but getting rid of these issues in film and tv, I think will lead to further stigmatisation and people not being exposed to it, having conversations about it and realising it’s impact.

Note: There is a lot more shows and discussion which could continue around this subject, however I used examples from shows I have watched or seen in the news surrounding the subject, to get a base understanding of the issue here.

Reiher, A (2020) ‘Outlander’ Recap: A Silent Movie Motif and Roger’s PTSD 12 April Available at: https://variety.com/2020/tv/recaps/outlander-recap-season-5-episode-8-famous-last-words-1234570842/ (Accessed: 30 March 2021)

Alo House (no date) 8 Movies about PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder) Available at: https://alorecovery.com/8-movies-about-ptsd-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/ (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Inspire Malibu (2019) 10 Films About Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 20 January Available at: https://www.inspiremalibu.com/blog/dual-diagnosis/10-films-about-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/ (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Elizabeth, D (2016) 7 Rape Culture Storylines in TV and Movies That Get the Issue Right 18 November Available at: https://www.teenvogue.com/gallery/rape-culture-in-tv-movies (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Abraham, A (2017) How Sexual Assault Survivors Feel Watching Rape Scenes on TV 4 September Available at: https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/rape-scenes-film-tv-effects (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Girls Inc. (no date) What TV Shows Get Right (and Wrong) About Sexual Assault Available at: https://girlsinc.org/tv-sexual-assault-portrayals/(Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Saleh, N. (2020) How the Stigma of Mental Health is Spread by Mass Media Available: https://www.verywellmind.com/mental-health-stigmas-in-mass-media-4153888 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Truong, K (2018) What Jessica Jones Gets Right About Women & PTSD Available at: https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/jessica-jones-season-2-women-ptsd-sexual-abuse (Accessed: 10 March 2021)

Long, S (2015) 8 times Jessica Jones addressed PTSD and rape in season 1 Available at: https://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/1103801/the-times-jessica-jones-season-1-addressed-ptsd-and-rape/ (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Scarlet, J (2018) What Jessica Jones Teaches us about Surviving Sexual Assault Available at: https://www.syfy.com/syfywire/what-jessica-jones-teaches-us-about-surviving-sexual-assault (Accessed: 10 March 2021)

How do we record memories? As we know our memories are not perfect and can’t capture everything, but also because we know they fade and overtime they can be eventually forgotten, we use different methods of recording the experience and information so that down the line we can revisit our experiences. There are many different ways of doing this, but some examples are photographs, and decades ago, polaroid’s were and still are a way of creating instance snapshots in time, you take a photo and they were instantly be printed and to be stored, but due to the invention of smartphones and digital photography not as necessary. Instead of photo albums which I loved flicking through when I was a child we can flick through years of memories on our phones, and digitally stores these memories to revisit at any time and any place.

Diaries and Journals are a way of creating a written account of a time, and an experience. Many people write in a journal or a diary frequently and consistently. Also, this is commonly used as a place to record feelings and emotions relating to a time, which is difficult to capture in a form such as a photograph. These are very personal accounts of a time, and are presented in the way the individual recalls, or interpreted events therefore they don’t necessary give an objective view of events.

Scrapbooks are a mix of the two, they mix imagery, collected items, written text and photographs. I think this style might be an interesting to investigate for this project, as to me it is similar to how we remember memories, how we do remember how things look, but we also have that ‘text’ like from a diary, the story of the memory and event. But also like a scrap book, you have snapshots of related things, and ideas and memories of the little details from around a time. I am looking into all these because when thinking about what does a memory look like? I was coming up blank, I am going to use/do some drawing exercises to work how do memories look like to me, and I am trying to explore how to make memories physical.

British Artist, Anya Gallaccio, is an site-specific and minimalist installation artist. The main and central theme in her work in metamorphosis (Victoria and Albert Museum, 2004a) She frequently works with organic matter, such as chocolate, flowers and ice. Due to this fact, her installations transform as time progresses and they decay, this means she can’t understand no predict how her installations will end up looking or become by the end. For instance, a work which mainly involves flowers, at the beginning of the exhibition and installation, the aroma and scent of flowers would be extremely pleasant and pleasurable, however as the flowered decayed would become the opposite, more and more unpleasant. Because of all of this her work is particularly difficult and presents many challenges in documenting her work as it is very time and site specific. She is challenging what is usually considered to be an art object or a sculpture should be, especially in the form of a monument within a museum or a gallery setting.

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Her work therefore lives in the memories of those who saw and experienced it, along with the concept of the work itself. Also due to no one seeing it from beginning to end, it becomes a collective memory and together it tells the story of the work. I find this idea fascinating especially in relation to my current path of research being memory, and asking is this interactive way of creating art something I could incorporate into my work going forward. But also as her work is concerned with the themes of change and decay, I believe that is important to note in my current research for inspiration, as I am looking a memories, and in a way something quite fragile, which do decay over time, or change and can be manipulated. These could be other themes I could intertwine with my work.

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Even though most of her work is installation based, she has also created some more static images such as Black Ice and White Ice. These were both prints, but using different mediums and surfaces. Black Ice being an etching which was created by digitally manipulating a photograph and creating a steel plate from the image and then printed onto paper. Whereas White Ice is a Screen-print on a mirrored acrylic surface. The pieces together symbolise and show this passing of time, ‘from pristine snow to despoiled slush and ice’ (Victoria and Albert Museum, 2004a). I am hoping to be able to visit and see these works in person when Museums reopen, as they are currently on display at the V&A. However these work are key for me, as they show they same concepts and ideas in her main installation work but applying that to print, and as myself a printmaker, it is great and inspiring to see how those ideas and concepts can translate into print.

Victoria and Albert Museum (2004a) Black Ice Available at: https://collections.vam.ac.uk/item/O106410/black-ice-print-gallaccio-anya/ (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Victoria and Albert Museum (2004b) White Ice Available at: https://collections.vam.ac.uk/item/O106429/white-ice-print-gallaccio-anya/  (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Anya Gallaccio Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/anya-gallaccio-2658 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Anya Gallaccio preserve ‘beauty’ Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/gallaccio-preserve-beauty-t11829 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

There are many artists who have explored the idea of memory, but also the ideas of the past, how memory fade, and how things can be nostalgic or how we reminisce.

There are some artists who have a focus on more a collective memory, where they address a more general history. One example is Lubaina Himid, who often explores and challenges the topic white male view on history and instead focuses on the underrepresented traditional history of people of colour. This isn’t necessarily the path I wish to take with this project and I am more looking at personal experiences of memory. However it could be interesting to build in a more collective history of the reasons why one might experience trauma and PTSD. Which would be interesting as I like to explore women’s rights, and feminist topics (I hate those terms though, because a feminist is just wishing for equal rights, and therefore anyone who doesn’t want that should just be considered sexist, and the rest is just human) and with what is ongoing in the news at the moment it feels very relevant.

I am more interested with this project on how to make memory physical. Emma Kays work has become fascinating for me, she explores how memory functions, but also the idea of selective memory, and generally her work explores memory and subjectivity. In one of her works Worldview (1999) she tries to write down, by only using her personal memory as a reference, the history of the world. But also she has created works which she works in the same way but has recalled the Bible. By using this methodology she has also commented on the future, by using her memories of science and fiction, explaining what the future may hold, to create her own personal view by using animated typography and projection. This work was called The Future from Memory (2001)

Tracey Emin is an artist who I have researched in the past for my minor project, however when researching memory in connection to art, her name appears again. May Dodge, My Nan Is a piece where she as an artist has collected objects in relation to her nan. She writes a handwritten tribute and the collection and presentation of everything together acts as a memorial to her Nan.

Agnes Martin, who considered herself as an abstract expressionist, even though she was commonly referred to as a minimalist, created some works that look at memory, but more specifically towards spirituality and emotions. She created the work Happy Holiday, which appears at first glance to be a series of stripes. But her quiet, and also serene look to her paintings come from her own personal struggle with her emotions and spirituality. She uses her titles cleverly to evoke different memories and feelings from the past. She was very interested in interpreting abstract emotions especially ones in relation to when we listen to music, we can been seen in the inclusive and expansive nature of her pieces and how they are non-specific but one can place their own experiences within her work.

Other artists have explored how memories fade, and often the artist’s recreation and treatment of their memories have lead to the work having ‘a dream-like quality’ (Tate, 2021). Rachel Whiteread, is a sculpture who primarily works with casting, especially of architectural objects. She has created work by making casts of parts of buildings which have since been demolished, and this leads to her work having a melancholy feeling and quality this is because ‘They appear as ghosts of their original structures’ (Tate, 2021). She is a very accomplished artist and in 1993 was the first woman to win the annual Turner Prize. But she has also been awarded a CBE in 2006 and then DBE in 2019 for services to art.

Similarly, Angus Fairhurst, has created many works where he has manually blanked out man made objects in important geographic places, by doing so he is trying to physically remove and erase the memory and impact of man on the world. He is trying to make us consider the idea of memory before man, and the effect we have had as humankind on our world around us.

Bibliography

Tate (no date) Rachel Whiteread Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/rachel-whiteread-2319 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Agnes Martin Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/agnes-martin-1583 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Happy Holiday Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/martin-happy-holiday-ar00179 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (2021) Memory Coursework Guide Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/student-resource/exam-help/memory (Accessed: 27 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Emma Kay Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/emma-kay-2701 (Accessed: 28 March 2021)

Chisenhale Gallery (no date) Emma Kay The Future from Memory Available at: https://chisenhale.org.uk/exhibition/emma-kay/ (Accessed: 28 March 2021)

Dissociation and PTSD

‘If you dissociate, you may feel disconnected from yourself and the world around you. For example, you may feel detached from your body or feel as though the world around you is unreal’ (Mind, 2019). However, it is good to note that many people have different experiences of dissociation. During traumatic events one may experience dissociation, as it is the minds way of dealing with large amounts and too much stress.

As people with PTSD have a wide variety of symptoms, not all will experience dissociation at all. It is considered a sub-group among people experience PTSD. Also, dissociative symptoms are more common in people experiencing C-PTSD (Complex PTSD), which is more common in people who experienced repeated trauma such as childhood abuse, ongoing domestic abuse, torture and being a prisoner of war. Also, experiencing trauma at a young age, or lasted a long time or were harmed by someone close to you, plus many other reasons.

Memories and PTSD

Due to everything stated previously about memories formation during particularly stressful and traumatic situations, people who suffer with PTSD are frequently troubled by their memory. Either the intensified traumatic memories haunt the victim and they can constantly and repeatedly visit and recall them, and also experience them during nightmares, becoming overwhelmed by the memory and the experience, placing them back in time like they are experiencing it then and now (flashbacks). But also, many struggle with the fact they can’t access the memories, but feel the deep association with the emotions connected to them. Due to the fact they can’t access the memories they find it harder the escape the trauma loop they are stuck in. Without them knowing it they are experiencing traumatic events repeatedly. Also, even though they are not consciously aware of the memory they can still be triggered by specific details, such as objects, events, people, noises and touch.

The brain may go through the process of encoding the memories of the event, however the brain may feel it necessary to hide the memories away so the victim won’t be traumatised from them. But in the end this can be more traumatising to the victim. These suppressed memories cause damage because the person may not understand why they are feeling certain emotions, and also it is then hard to process the trauma. Due to the way the mind encodes trauma, it may take a long time, and it may be impossible to recover a memory fully.

By recovering the memories you are then able to work through the emotions and memories, and able to get help to be able to understand why you are feeling certain ways. This is important in the therapy and recovery from PTSD and trauma. However this is a widely debated topic among the scientific and psychology communities, and become widely controversial. However the main focus was on child abuse, and how therapists can manipulate memories and in many ways implant memories. However from personal experience, I knew the memories were there, but I didn’t want to see them, I didn’t want to remember them. Or because the time-line was so fragmented due to how traumatic memories are encoded it took a long time for me to put those fragments into order, to see a coherent narrative to realise what had happened to me.

Bibliography

American Psychiatric Association (2020) What is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder? Available at: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

Department of Justice Canada (2019) The Impact of Trauma on Adult Sexual Assault Victims PART III – How Trauma Affects Memory and Recall Available at: https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/jr/trauma/p4.html (Accessed: 24 March 2021)

McManus S, Bebbington P, Jenkins R, Brugha T. (eds.) (2016) Mental health and wellbeing in England: Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey 2014. Leeds: NHS Digital Available at: https://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20180328140249/http://digital.nhs.uk/catalogue/PUB21748 (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

Vista Pines Health (no date) PTSD and Memory | The Science of Traumatic Memories Available at: https://vistapineshealth.com/services/ptsd-treatment/memory/ (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

Northwestern University (2015) How traumatic memories hide in the brain, and how to retrieve them: Special brain mechanism discovered to store stress-related, unconscious memories Science Daily 17 August Available at: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/08/150817132325.htm (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

How does our memory usually work without the interference from trauma?

There is 3 stages and processes which happen inside our brains to retain information.

• Encoding: This is the cognitive process where and in which the information is learned, taken in and understood. Here it is altered, encoded, to support the storage system inside out minds. There is 4 methods in which memory is encoded. 1. Visual, this is how something looks. 2. Acoustic, how something sounds, Sematic, what something means and tactile, how something feels. Even though the information usually enters of memory system in the form it is encoded, the information which is stored may be different to the way it was originally was encoded.
• Storage: Like in a computer database, storage refers to the place where to encoded information is stored and is also responsible for how this information is stored but also where, how much and for how long of a time the information is sported within your memory system. There is 2 types of memory: Short-term and Long-term. Information is first stored in the short-term memory system, and them if your storage deems that information necessary it will move the encoded information into your long term memory. Usually and primarily sematic encoded information is primarily stored in long term memory. Once the information is stored the information, the individual needs to recall or retrieve this information to gain access it.
• Retrieval: This is the process where we retrieve or recall the information in which is stored. Retrieving information from short-term and long-term memory differ, due to how the information is stored.

How does trauma affect memory and recall?

‘People often assume and expect that we will be able to recollect major events in our lives with clear and unwavering accuracy and that this determines the “truth” of what happened’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019). However, traumatic events cause the information to be encoded differently then the usual in our day to day lives, due to this we frequently retrieve and recall the information and narration of our experiences with trauma differently to everyday life and the routine However, certain traumatising event our brain can deem “this is important, you need to remember this forever, because it could save your life at a later date” and therefore these memories are etched into a minds forever and seem impossible to forget. When we encode information from an event we focus on what our brain deems to be important and less so on those which it deems as not important or significant (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

During normal circumstances, the amygdala neurons ‘encode fear memory traces (or fragments) while the hippocampus learns about the context of the fear. But when faced with threatening experiences, this emotionally arousing information increases amygdala activity. That activity correlates with more deeply remembered memory traces in the amygdala’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019). Because fear and stress intensifies and heightens the acitivation of the amygdala, traumatic memories are reinforced and potent, however this also means this hippocampal function which is usually to putting the experience and events in chronological order and also into perspective, which is essential into forming explicit memories (cognitive memories), is blocked and impaired. This means these memories are not integrated into their hippocampus and the memory storage system and many victims of traumatic events experience ‘fragments’ or otherwise called implicit or limbic memory traces. Many people have experienced the feeling of “It was all a blur” after a stressful event and these are the reasons why.

Due to this, these implicit memories or fragments, means someone can remember the behavioral knowledge of their experience without consciously able to recall the events, therefore it is not a memories which one can reflect on or even think about and therefore it is difficult to understand and process, which creates difficulties in recovery from trauma. However, these memories are often fragmented in time which creates gaps in the memory but also consist deeply of information from the primary sense, (visuals, smells, sounds) especially ones which are linked primarily to the physiological fear felt during specific moments (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

What are Intensified Traumatic and Flashbulb Memories? And what causes them?

As stated previously fear and stress can produce two very different results in memory, either in intensified memories, the ones which are etched into our minds seemingly forever, or it can result in the implicit fragmented memories which I described previously. These are both caused and due to the result of the stress hormones released and affecting the brains function of encoding and storing memories. However, studies have shown that when the adrenal glands release large amounts of adrenaline during this experiences, it helps the hippocampus to encode memories more intensely. But due to the burst of adrenaline usually occurring at the beginning of a traumatic experience, it is not uncommon for people to have extremely vivid and full memories from the beginning of the traumatic experience when the defence circuitry in the brain was originally and first triggered and when the initial burst of stress hormones were released. Due to this the burst of adrenaline is believe to enhance the storage of memories at the beginning of the traumatic event, therefore as it strengthens the memories pathways and creates what is usually referred to what is called flashbulb memories. ‘Experiences with emotional significance are more likely to be consolidated into episodic memory and made available for intentional, conscious recollection than those with little or no emotional significance. The brain encodes what it pays attention to. During a threatening event, the brain focuses on what is central to survival so it does not focus on insignificant and peripheral details, so it does not encode them’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

Due to the high levels of the cortisol (the stress hormone) which are secreted alongside adrenaline, the brain and specifically as mentioned the hippocampus super-encodes these intense early moments of the experience, however if the stress-levels, fear and threat continues the brain continues to secrete high levels of cortisol therefore the hippocampus then get overwhelmed with the cortisol levels and therefore may then lead the very little and minimal encoding, and therefore this is how the you can go from one extreme to another with your memory of a traumatic event, from flashbulb memories to fragments (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

What are fragmented memories?

An example of fragmented memory is that for instance ‘a sexual assault victim might not recall the layout of the room where the rape happened. The hippocampus might not encode time-sequencing information because its functioning is altered during a traumatic event’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019). But also due to intense influx of hormones the brain, and specifically memory centres of the brain such as the hippocampus can be permanently damaged. The hippocampus can also disrupt he system of encoding conscious and explicit memories when the stress homes block or damage the hippocampus but also can inhibited when there is intense amygdala activation.

Due to the fact the amygdala is critical in the involvement of calculating how emotionally significant an event is, when a threat is perceived it initiates a stimulation of emotional arousal. The intention of this is to force us as an individual to pay attention, be alert and be ready to respond to the threat. However, because it is also selective, it will make us pay attention to particular things and then it will encode this. Due to the fact fear makes us pay attention to small details and normally very few details, it means one may not remember all the facts and experiences from the traumatic event such as, a woman who experienced sexual assault may remember the colour of the t-shirt her attacker was wearing but not remember key details of the event, or what her surroundings looked like.

Also, during these events one can become dissociated, and the two networks of the hippocampal and amygdala because disconnected. Leading to the emotional memories and the more explicit processing of the hippocampal not working together leading to the memories not being integrated and therefore emotions, sensation and other memories and feelings become disconnected from their context and time sequence, therefore as result leads to one being able to recall how they felt but not necessarily the details, or any words or narrative surrounding the event to therefore be recalled.

As when encoding memory inside the brain is impaired, the brain prioritised the aspects of the experience which are deem vital for survival, or what are deemed to be of very little emotional importance. This then leads frequently to a disorganised and also incomplete narrative of the experience and memory.

Due to all this, defence lawyers take advantage of all this and use it to undermine the credibility of the sexual assault and rape victims and in many cases media and critics in high profile cases use the gaps in memory to attack victims credibility also. This is a problem which lies deep and connects with the rape myths, and victim blaming culture our society has and there is little understanding surrounding this area, and one of the reasons I believe that this is an important topic to explore especially and the current societal time.

What is PTSD?

PTSD stands for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, and it is a mental health condition and psychiatric disorder which may affect people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event. This ranges from war and combat, terrorist events to people who have experienced domestic abuse, sexual assault and rape but also people who have been threatened with serious injury, death and sexual violence (American Psychiatric Association, 2020)

People who experience and have PTSD have a range of symptoms and vary from person to person. Many have intrusive intense disturbing thoughts, emotions and feelings relating and connected to the traumatic event which triggered PTSD, this can also come in forms of flashbacks and nightmares. However, they can also dissociate, and it is common for people to detach from their experience as a coping mechanism. They can experience many emotions including fear and anger but also a deep level of sadness, and this plus other causes can lead to people detaching themselves from other people. Sometimes this maybe due to the person trying to avoid certain circumstances, people and situations which may remind them of the traumatic event and experience. Also, they may experience strong and intense reactions to specific scenarios such as loud noises or touch of another.

Who is affected by PTSD?

Originally it was viewed as a condition which mainly only affected combat veterans and was called “shell shock” however now it is widely accepted that it affects and can occur in people of all genders, ages, sexuality, nationality, ethnicity, and culture. Even though it was so commonly connected with male war veterans, in the US ‘Women are twice as likely as men to have PTSD’ (American Psychiatric Association, 2020). However, in the UK, according to the Adult psychiatric morbidity survey in 2014, ‘Screening Positive for PTSD did not vary by sex’ (McManus, et al. 2016).

Even though PTSD requires the person to be exposed to a traumatic event or experience, however this doesn’t necessarily mean firsthand, it can be indirect. It has been shown that Police Officers who have repeated contact to cases of child abuse and other trauma, the details of these cases and the constant repetition of the contact means these officers have developed PTSD (American Psychiatric Association, 2020)

The experience of an traumatic event doesn’t equal a diagnosis of PTSD, the amount of people who experience PTSD compared to exposure to a traumatic event is low. ‘About a third (31.4%) reported having experienced at least one major trauma in their lifetime…Overall, 4.4% of adults screened positive for PTSD in the last month (95% confidence interval: 3.8% to 5.0%)’ (McManus, et al. 2016).