The Hand and Eye brief asks for us to experiment with the creation of an image and making us make more thought out decisions regarding design, concept, research, colour, and methodology. We started off by created a character based on Frankenstein’s Monster. Where Frankenstein made his monster from several component parts. We started off by making our own monster by filling our own silhouette with depictions of our own fears. When then took the life size drawing and made it micro and worked on character development to then use the character and a song and created a 9-frame storyboard.
This brief and project were for us to develop our skills in 2D work and starting to understand the limitations a brief in the professional environment. But also letting our experiment and use the workshops provided to us through the university. Giving us the opportunity to understand several ways images can be made and use them for ourselves.
It made us start thinking about narrative how story telling can be used. Giving us a basis by giving us a choice of song and restrictions to help guide us instead of giving us so many options decision making becomes overwhelming.
My first response was fear. Which is quite ironic since we were working with the theme and idea of fear. I didn’t expect to be scared of confronting my own fears. In the last 18 months I been through an awful lot. And that trauma has given me fears I never thought I would have. I was raped and then soon after I started a new relationship which ended up as 6 months of sexual and domestic abuse. I have always struggled with social and general anxiety however following this my fear of people grew even more. I have a fear of being touched, connecting with people, trusting people etc. Fear of the same trauma happening again. Doesn’t even start on my fear of failing, not being good enough. After years of being told that exact thing.
When starting my monster, I had to confront this. My fears are not the generic fear of spiders, or water. But serious and rational. I had to honest when doing this project otherwise the result wouldn’t be honest, and I wouldn’t produce my best work and then I would realise the fear of not being good enough because I wouldn’t be doing my best.
My monster was full of typography of names I have been called over the years, and things which have been said: Loser, loner, idiot, dyke, failure, no-one will ever love you, worthless, cry baby etc. It contained a bleeding heart, surrounded by moths, as moths symbolise the idea of healing to be, because even though they spend so much time in the dark they are drawn towards the light. I used silhouettes of hands to depict the fear of being touched and a collage of crowds, one due to the fear of people I have, I also have a fear of crowds after being stampeded on as a teenager.
After this I knew no-matter how difficult it would be, I had to be honest a face everything. It would produce my best work.