The Charity Refuge in 2018 released this poem by Natasha Saunders. When reading top to bottom it tells the story of a whirlwind romance, however it you read it bottom to top it shows the devastating and terrifying reality of living with an abusive partner.
This poem in particular resonates with me because of my own personal experience.
In 2018, I met a guy while I was in a vunerable state after a month after being raped. I got wrapped up in the feeling of comfort of feeling like I was being looked after and cared for, but as time went on when I was more and more in the relationship, the more abusive he got, and the more trapped I felt. However because the first couple of months he was so kind and caring, and supporting me after what I thought at the time was the worst experience of my life, I was trapped in that memory and doubting what was happening to me was true. Also he was incredibly manipulative and turned everything he did back on me.
Linking my experience with this poem, I just saw the whirlwind romance, and that’s what nearly everyone else saw, and in many of ways ignored the abuse. For myself it was a coping mechanism, and I hid my experience from everyone because of shame and guilt and Adam, my abuser was this actor, who changed his face around others.
This poem inspires me to look at these two sides, what the world see and what the true reality is. Exposing the truth.