Author: Rhianna Catt

How do we record memories? As we know our memories are not perfect and can’t capture everything, but also because we know they fade and overtime they can be eventually forgotten, we use different methods of recording the experience and information so that down the line we can revisit our experiences. There are many different ways of doing this, but some examples are photographs, and decades ago, polaroid’s were and still are a way of creating instance snapshots in time, you take a photo and they were instantly be printed and to be stored, but due to the invention of smartphones and digital photography not as necessary. Instead of photo albums which I loved flicking through when I was a child we can flick through years of memories on our phones, and digitally stores these memories to revisit at any time and any place.

Diaries and Journals are a way of creating a written account of a time, and an experience. Many people write in a journal or a diary frequently and consistently. Also, this is commonly used as a place to record feelings and emotions relating to a time, which is difficult to capture in a form such as a photograph. These are very personal accounts of a time, and are presented in the way the individual recalls, or interpreted events therefore they don’t necessary give an objective view of events.

Scrapbooks are a mix of the two, they mix imagery, collected items, written text and photographs. I think this style might be an interesting to investigate for this project, as to me it is similar to how we remember memories, how we do remember how things look, but we also have that ‘text’ like from a diary, the story of the memory and event. But also like a scrap book, you have snapshots of related things, and ideas and memories of the little details from around a time. I am looking into all these because when thinking about what does a memory look like? I was coming up blank, I am going to use/do some drawing exercises to work how do memories look like to me, and I am trying to explore how to make memories physical.

British Artist, Anya Gallaccio, is an site-specific and minimalist installation artist. The main and central theme in her work in metamorphosis (Victoria and Albert Museum, 2004a) She frequently works with organic matter, such as chocolate, flowers and ice. Due to this fact, her installations transform as time progresses and they decay, this means she can’t understand no predict how her installations will end up looking or become by the end. For instance, a work which mainly involves flowers, at the beginning of the exhibition and installation, the aroma and scent of flowers would be extremely pleasant and pleasurable, however as the flowered decayed would become the opposite, more and more unpleasant. Because of all of this her work is particularly difficult and presents many challenges in documenting her work as it is very time and site specific. She is challenging what is usually considered to be an art object or a sculpture should be, especially in the form of a monument within a museum or a gallery setting.

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Her work therefore lives in the memories of those who saw and experienced it, along with the concept of the work itself. Also due to no one seeing it from beginning to end, it becomes a collective memory and together it tells the story of the work. I find this idea fascinating especially in relation to my current path of research being memory, and asking is this interactive way of creating art something I could incorporate into my work going forward. But also as her work is concerned with the themes of change and decay, I believe that is important to note in my current research for inspiration, as I am looking a memories, and in a way something quite fragile, which do decay over time, or change and can be manipulated. These could be other themes I could intertwine with my work.

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Even though most of her work is installation based, she has also created some more static images such as Black Ice and White Ice. These were both prints, but using different mediums and surfaces. Black Ice being an etching which was created by digitally manipulating a photograph and creating a steel plate from the image and then printed onto paper. Whereas White Ice is a Screen-print on a mirrored acrylic surface. The pieces together symbolise and show this passing of time, ‘from pristine snow to despoiled slush and ice’ (Victoria and Albert Museum, 2004a). I am hoping to be able to visit and see these works in person when Museums reopen, as they are currently on display at the V&A. However these work are key for me, as they show they same concepts and ideas in her main installation work but applying that to print, and as myself a printmaker, it is great and inspiring to see how those ideas and concepts can translate into print.

Victoria and Albert Museum (2004a) Black Ice Available at: https://collections.vam.ac.uk/item/O106410/black-ice-print-gallaccio-anya/ (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Victoria and Albert Museum (2004b) White Ice Available at: https://collections.vam.ac.uk/item/O106429/white-ice-print-gallaccio-anya/  (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Anya Gallaccio Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/anya-gallaccio-2658 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Anya Gallaccio preserve ‘beauty’ Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/gallaccio-preserve-beauty-t11829 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

There are many artists who have explored the idea of memory, but also the ideas of the past, how memory fade, and how things can be nostalgic or how we reminisce.

There are some artists who have a focus on more a collective memory, where they address a more general history. One example is Lubaina Himid, who often explores and challenges the topic white male view on history and instead focuses on the underrepresented traditional history of people of colour. This isn’t necessarily the path I wish to take with this project and I am more looking at personal experiences of memory. However it could be interesting to build in a more collective history of the reasons why one might experience trauma and PTSD. Which would be interesting as I like to explore women’s rights, and feminist topics (I hate those terms though, because a feminist is just wishing for equal rights, and therefore anyone who doesn’t want that should just be considered sexist, and the rest is just human) and with what is ongoing in the news at the moment it feels very relevant.

I am more interested with this project on how to make memory physical. Emma Kays work has become fascinating for me, she explores how memory functions, but also the idea of selective memory, and generally her work explores memory and subjectivity. In one of her works Worldview (1999) she tries to write down, by only using her personal memory as a reference, the history of the world. But also she has created works which she works in the same way but has recalled the Bible. By using this methodology she has also commented on the future, by using her memories of science and fiction, explaining what the future may hold, to create her own personal view by using animated typography and projection. This work was called The Future from Memory (2001)

Tracey Emin is an artist who I have researched in the past for my minor project, however when researching memory in connection to art, her name appears again. May Dodge, My Nan Is a piece where she as an artist has collected objects in relation to her nan. She writes a handwritten tribute and the collection and presentation of everything together acts as a memorial to her Nan.

Agnes Martin, who considered herself as an abstract expressionist, even though she was commonly referred to as a minimalist, created some works that look at memory, but more specifically towards spirituality and emotions. She created the work Happy Holiday, which appears at first glance to be a series of stripes. But her quiet, and also serene look to her paintings come from her own personal struggle with her emotions and spirituality. She uses her titles cleverly to evoke different memories and feelings from the past. She was very interested in interpreting abstract emotions especially ones in relation to when we listen to music, we can been seen in the inclusive and expansive nature of her pieces and how they are non-specific but one can place their own experiences within her work.

Other artists have explored how memories fade, and often the artist’s recreation and treatment of their memories have lead to the work having ‘a dream-like quality’ (Tate, 2021). Rachel Whiteread, is a sculpture who primarily works with casting, especially of architectural objects. She has created work by making casts of parts of buildings which have since been demolished, and this leads to her work having a melancholy feeling and quality this is because ‘They appear as ghosts of their original structures’ (Tate, 2021). She is a very accomplished artist and in 1993 was the first woman to win the annual Turner Prize. But she has also been awarded a CBE in 2006 and then DBE in 2019 for services to art.

Similarly, Angus Fairhurst, has created many works where he has manually blanked out man made objects in important geographic places, by doing so he is trying to physically remove and erase the memory and impact of man on the world. He is trying to make us consider the idea of memory before man, and the effect we have had as humankind on our world around us.

Bibliography

Tate (no date) Rachel Whiteread Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/rachel-whiteread-2319 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Agnes Martin Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/agnes-martin-1583 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Happy Holiday Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/martin-happy-holiday-ar00179 (Accessed: 29 March 2021)

Tate (2021) Memory Coursework Guide Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/student-resource/exam-help/memory (Accessed: 27 March 2021)

Tate (no date) Emma Kay Available at: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/emma-kay-2701 (Accessed: 28 March 2021)

Chisenhale Gallery (no date) Emma Kay The Future from Memory Available at: https://chisenhale.org.uk/exhibition/emma-kay/ (Accessed: 28 March 2021)

Dissociation and PTSD

‘If you dissociate, you may feel disconnected from yourself and the world around you. For example, you may feel detached from your body or feel as though the world around you is unreal’ (Mind, 2019). However, it is good to note that many people have different experiences of dissociation. During traumatic events one may experience dissociation, as it is the minds way of dealing with large amounts and too much stress.

As people with PTSD have a wide variety of symptoms, not all will experience dissociation at all. It is considered a sub-group among people experience PTSD. Also, dissociative symptoms are more common in people experiencing C-PTSD (Complex PTSD), which is more common in people who experienced repeated trauma such as childhood abuse, ongoing domestic abuse, torture and being a prisoner of war. Also, experiencing trauma at a young age, or lasted a long time or were harmed by someone close to you, plus many other reasons.

Memories and PTSD

Due to everything stated previously about memories formation during particularly stressful and traumatic situations, people who suffer with PTSD are frequently troubled by their memory. Either the intensified traumatic memories haunt the victim and they can constantly and repeatedly visit and recall them, and also experience them during nightmares, becoming overwhelmed by the memory and the experience, placing them back in time like they are experiencing it then and now (flashbacks). But also, many struggle with the fact they can’t access the memories, but feel the deep association with the emotions connected to them. Due to the fact they can’t access the memories they find it harder the escape the trauma loop they are stuck in. Without them knowing it they are experiencing traumatic events repeatedly. Also, even though they are not consciously aware of the memory they can still be triggered by specific details, such as objects, events, people, noises and touch.

The brain may go through the process of encoding the memories of the event, however the brain may feel it necessary to hide the memories away so the victim won’t be traumatised from them. But in the end this can be more traumatising to the victim. These suppressed memories cause damage because the person may not understand why they are feeling certain emotions, and also it is then hard to process the trauma. Due to the way the mind encodes trauma, it may take a long time, and it may be impossible to recover a memory fully.

By recovering the memories you are then able to work through the emotions and memories, and able to get help to be able to understand why you are feeling certain ways. This is important in the therapy and recovery from PTSD and trauma. However this is a widely debated topic among the scientific and psychology communities, and become widely controversial. However the main focus was on child abuse, and how therapists can manipulate memories and in many ways implant memories. However from personal experience, I knew the memories were there, but I didn’t want to see them, I didn’t want to remember them. Or because the time-line was so fragmented due to how traumatic memories are encoded it took a long time for me to put those fragments into order, to see a coherent narrative to realise what had happened to me.

Bibliography

American Psychiatric Association (2020) What is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder? Available at: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

Department of Justice Canada (2019) The Impact of Trauma on Adult Sexual Assault Victims PART III – How Trauma Affects Memory and Recall Available at: https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/jr/trauma/p4.html (Accessed: 24 March 2021)

McManus S, Bebbington P, Jenkins R, Brugha T. (eds.) (2016) Mental health and wellbeing in England: Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey 2014. Leeds: NHS Digital Available at: https://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20180328140249/http://digital.nhs.uk/catalogue/PUB21748 (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

Vista Pines Health (no date) PTSD and Memory | The Science of Traumatic Memories Available at: https://vistapineshealth.com/services/ptsd-treatment/memory/ (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

Northwestern University (2015) How traumatic memories hide in the brain, and how to retrieve them: Special brain mechanism discovered to store stress-related, unconscious memories Science Daily 17 August Available at: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/08/150817132325.htm (Accessed: 25 March 2021)

How does our memory usually work without the interference from trauma?

There is 3 stages and processes which happen inside our brains to retain information.

• Encoding: This is the cognitive process where and in which the information is learned, taken in and understood. Here it is altered, encoded, to support the storage system inside out minds. There is 4 methods in which memory is encoded. 1. Visual, this is how something looks. 2. Acoustic, how something sounds, Sematic, what something means and tactile, how something feels. Even though the information usually enters of memory system in the form it is encoded, the information which is stored may be different to the way it was originally was encoded.
• Storage: Like in a computer database, storage refers to the place where to encoded information is stored and is also responsible for how this information is stored but also where, how much and for how long of a time the information is sported within your memory system. There is 2 types of memory: Short-term and Long-term. Information is first stored in the short-term memory system, and them if your storage deems that information necessary it will move the encoded information into your long term memory. Usually and primarily sematic encoded information is primarily stored in long term memory. Once the information is stored the information, the individual needs to recall or retrieve this information to gain access it.
• Retrieval: This is the process where we retrieve or recall the information in which is stored. Retrieving information from short-term and long-term memory differ, due to how the information is stored.

How does trauma affect memory and recall?

‘People often assume and expect that we will be able to recollect major events in our lives with clear and unwavering accuracy and that this determines the “truth” of what happened’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019). However, traumatic events cause the information to be encoded differently then the usual in our day to day lives, due to this we frequently retrieve and recall the information and narration of our experiences with trauma differently to everyday life and the routine However, certain traumatising event our brain can deem “this is important, you need to remember this forever, because it could save your life at a later date” and therefore these memories are etched into a minds forever and seem impossible to forget. When we encode information from an event we focus on what our brain deems to be important and less so on those which it deems as not important or significant (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

During normal circumstances, the amygdala neurons ‘encode fear memory traces (or fragments) while the hippocampus learns about the context of the fear. But when faced with threatening experiences, this emotionally arousing information increases amygdala activity. That activity correlates with more deeply remembered memory traces in the amygdala’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019). Because fear and stress intensifies and heightens the acitivation of the amygdala, traumatic memories are reinforced and potent, however this also means this hippocampal function which is usually to putting the experience and events in chronological order and also into perspective, which is essential into forming explicit memories (cognitive memories), is blocked and impaired. This means these memories are not integrated into their hippocampus and the memory storage system and many victims of traumatic events experience ‘fragments’ or otherwise called implicit or limbic memory traces. Many people have experienced the feeling of “It was all a blur” after a stressful event and these are the reasons why.

Due to this, these implicit memories or fragments, means someone can remember the behavioral knowledge of their experience without consciously able to recall the events, therefore it is not a memories which one can reflect on or even think about and therefore it is difficult to understand and process, which creates difficulties in recovery from trauma. However, these memories are often fragmented in time which creates gaps in the memory but also consist deeply of information from the primary sense, (visuals, smells, sounds) especially ones which are linked primarily to the physiological fear felt during specific moments (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

What are Intensified Traumatic and Flashbulb Memories? And what causes them?

As stated previously fear and stress can produce two very different results in memory, either in intensified memories, the ones which are etched into our minds seemingly forever, or it can result in the implicit fragmented memories which I described previously. These are both caused and due to the result of the stress hormones released and affecting the brains function of encoding and storing memories. However, studies have shown that when the adrenal glands release large amounts of adrenaline during this experiences, it helps the hippocampus to encode memories more intensely. But due to the burst of adrenaline usually occurring at the beginning of a traumatic experience, it is not uncommon for people to have extremely vivid and full memories from the beginning of the traumatic experience when the defence circuitry in the brain was originally and first triggered and when the initial burst of stress hormones were released. Due to this the burst of adrenaline is believe to enhance the storage of memories at the beginning of the traumatic event, therefore as it strengthens the memories pathways and creates what is usually referred to what is called flashbulb memories. ‘Experiences with emotional significance are more likely to be consolidated into episodic memory and made available for intentional, conscious recollection than those with little or no emotional significance. The brain encodes what it pays attention to. During a threatening event, the brain focuses on what is central to survival so it does not focus on insignificant and peripheral details, so it does not encode them’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

Due to the high levels of the cortisol (the stress hormone) which are secreted alongside adrenaline, the brain and specifically as mentioned the hippocampus super-encodes these intense early moments of the experience, however if the stress-levels, fear and threat continues the brain continues to secrete high levels of cortisol therefore the hippocampus then get overwhelmed with the cortisol levels and therefore may then lead the very little and minimal encoding, and therefore this is how the you can go from one extreme to another with your memory of a traumatic event, from flashbulb memories to fragments (Department of Justice Canada, 2019).

What are fragmented memories?

An example of fragmented memory is that for instance ‘a sexual assault victim might not recall the layout of the room where the rape happened. The hippocampus might not encode time-sequencing information because its functioning is altered during a traumatic event’ (Department of Justice Canada, 2019). But also due to intense influx of hormones the brain, and specifically memory centres of the brain such as the hippocampus can be permanently damaged. The hippocampus can also disrupt he system of encoding conscious and explicit memories when the stress homes block or damage the hippocampus but also can inhibited when there is intense amygdala activation.

Due to the fact the amygdala is critical in the involvement of calculating how emotionally significant an event is, when a threat is perceived it initiates a stimulation of emotional arousal. The intention of this is to force us as an individual to pay attention, be alert and be ready to respond to the threat. However, because it is also selective, it will make us pay attention to particular things and then it will encode this. Due to the fact fear makes us pay attention to small details and normally very few details, it means one may not remember all the facts and experiences from the traumatic event such as, a woman who experienced sexual assault may remember the colour of the t-shirt her attacker was wearing but not remember key details of the event, or what her surroundings looked like.

Also, during these events one can become dissociated, and the two networks of the hippocampal and amygdala because disconnected. Leading to the emotional memories and the more explicit processing of the hippocampal not working together leading to the memories not being integrated and therefore emotions, sensation and other memories and feelings become disconnected from their context and time sequence, therefore as result leads to one being able to recall how they felt but not necessarily the details, or any words or narrative surrounding the event to therefore be recalled.

As when encoding memory inside the brain is impaired, the brain prioritised the aspects of the experience which are deem vital for survival, or what are deemed to be of very little emotional importance. This then leads frequently to a disorganised and also incomplete narrative of the experience and memory.

Due to all this, defence lawyers take advantage of all this and use it to undermine the credibility of the sexual assault and rape victims and in many cases media and critics in high profile cases use the gaps in memory to attack victims credibility also. This is a problem which lies deep and connects with the rape myths, and victim blaming culture our society has and there is little understanding surrounding this area, and one of the reasons I believe that this is an important topic to explore especially and the current societal time.

What is PTSD?

PTSD stands for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, and it is a mental health condition and psychiatric disorder which may affect people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event. This ranges from war and combat, terrorist events to people who have experienced domestic abuse, sexual assault and rape but also people who have been threatened with serious injury, death and sexual violence (American Psychiatric Association, 2020)

People who experience and have PTSD have a range of symptoms and vary from person to person. Many have intrusive intense disturbing thoughts, emotions and feelings relating and connected to the traumatic event which triggered PTSD, this can also come in forms of flashbacks and nightmares. However, they can also dissociate, and it is common for people to detach from their experience as a coping mechanism. They can experience many emotions including fear and anger but also a deep level of sadness, and this plus other causes can lead to people detaching themselves from other people. Sometimes this maybe due to the person trying to avoid certain circumstances, people and situations which may remind them of the traumatic event and experience. Also, they may experience strong and intense reactions to specific scenarios such as loud noises or touch of another.

Who is affected by PTSD?

Originally it was viewed as a condition which mainly only affected combat veterans and was called “shell shock” however now it is widely accepted that it affects and can occur in people of all genders, ages, sexuality, nationality, ethnicity, and culture. Even though it was so commonly connected with male war veterans, in the US ‘Women are twice as likely as men to have PTSD’ (American Psychiatric Association, 2020). However, in the UK, according to the Adult psychiatric morbidity survey in 2014, ‘Screening Positive for PTSD did not vary by sex’ (McManus, et al. 2016).

Even though PTSD requires the person to be exposed to a traumatic event or experience, however this doesn’t necessarily mean firsthand, it can be indirect. It has been shown that Police Officers who have repeated contact to cases of child abuse and other trauma, the details of these cases and the constant repetition of the contact means these officers have developed PTSD (American Psychiatric Association, 2020)

The experience of an traumatic event doesn’t equal a diagnosis of PTSD, the amount of people who experience PTSD compared to exposure to a traumatic event is low. ‘About a third (31.4%) reported having experienced at least one major trauma in their lifetime…Overall, 4.4% of adults screened positive for PTSD in the last month (95% confidence interval: 3.8% to 5.0%)’ (McManus, et al. 2016).

When beginning my research on PTSD and also thinking about my own experiences, I realised I needed to focus my research and topic more. Due to the fact PTSD mainly occurs due to the way memories formulate themselves during traumatic events and experiences, I decided looking into how trauma affects your memories and then how PTSD presents those memories to you would be an interesting focusing point. This then opens up the topic into many different fields, including scientific, psychology, mental health, the media, but also looking into a more broader space of how different artists have tackled the idea and representation of memory and how do we record memories e.g. photographs and diaries.

I am also wanting to reach out to others who have experienced traumatic events, and see how their mind has processed their memory of the time and how they have dealt with it because we are all unique. However, due to the current social climate and context of Sarah Everards death in South London which has opened up the topic of how women lack a feeling of safety and opens up the conversation to unfortunate reality in how woman live in fear today, due to the nature of the crimes committed against woman. But also, due to the fact the way the mind processes traumatic events, that it is extremely normal for one to remember a whole traumatic experience, or none at all. And this is used against woman in courts and in the media to insinuate the belief that woman make up and falsely report men of rape. This is one of the reasons I believe it is important to explore this topic to help dissolve this misconception.