I decided to choose the brief, A case for her and refinery 29. This project is about menopause and looking at all ages and how it affects women, but also trans men. I picked this project due to the fact I suffer with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), and I have a personal experience of the hormone in balance, but also being told at the age of 19 that it would be incredibly difficult it would be to have children naturally. Also how this affects my relationship. How my boyfriend found it very difficult to come to terms with as biological children is very important to him, and the pressure I feel plus the fear of resentment if I can’t have children.
While researching the topic, I found there was a lot of information about the symptoms and what it is, there was not a lot on how difficult it may be and how it can feel. Therefore I decided to go down this emotional route instead. I found the quote ‘I didn’t want to have to tell them I was flawed, an insufficient woman’ by a young woman who experienced early menopause. I could relate to this, as my boyfriend knew of my diagnosis before we entered a relationship however it is a conversation I always avoid because I am scared he is going to resent me if I can’t have children, and how I don’t feel good enough just because of how my ovaries operate, not well.
I started researching symbols on fertility, and got down the route of flowers and mythology. I got the idea of using a lotus, as it is a symbol of fertility, but also birth and rebirth, and female sexuality. The goddess Isis in Egyptian mythology was born from a lotus flower. But also the idea of even though when they grow in the dirtiest water they still produce the most beautiful flowers, and I thought that was also a good metaphor that even though the circumstances may not be great, and being told you can’t have children is difficult on yourself and your partner, you are still a woman and beautiful.
I then started experimented with, for now, a photograph of a lotus, and breaking the image into shards like it has been broken apart, and with pink fading in and out of the image. I experimenting with different compositions, with the image having a darker background to fill in the shard shapes, and overlaying the shards. I am looking at printing these, using some different methodologies for some of the shards to create difference to texture especially if I overlay it. But also we are not all the same and we are multi-dimensional people. I want to create a plate for each shard, so the deboss affect is around each shape.
